Thursday, November 28, 2002

Cursed Am I And My Wants And Dreams- by: the damned

I want to lie in bed
Ride mopeds
And be loved for the rest of my life

I want to relax
Take naps
Understand what life means

I want to run away
To anisolated place
And be near no one sometimes

I want problems to disappear
I want to no longer live in fear
And be loved for the rest of my life

I want everyone to think only good things of me
I want people to believe in my dreams
I want my reputation to be forgotten
I want to walk the streets and be free
Behind My Face, To My Back, There The World Speaks- by: the damned

I am very confused
In others eye's, what I see,
Is not what I imagined

I try to live day by day
And not worry so much
But lately it seems
That others worry for me
But don't tell me what they think

The world in which I live
Is a lonely one
Others won't talk to me
It's just the passing by
And the disappointed sigh
And a crack in my heart and dreams

Where is the place
Where I can openly relate
With people I see every day
And how can I show
That I want them to know
Without exposing myself
And making myslef look worse

Monday, November 25, 2002

She reached into my chest, and grasped my black heart. I oculd feel her hand wrap around it. She pulled and tugged, until my flesh began to rip. The only thing I could see were her eyes. Suddenly the pain stopped, and she was holding my heart above me. It was pure black, and black blood poured from inside it. Then I died.

And then I was reborn. Things were so much brighter. My stomach churned, and my brain spun, I did not know what to do. Though things were so much better than before.So I got up and went outside. And lived daily as I do...
You Don't Know Where I've Been...- by: the damned

The chaos
The confusion!
When will this world stop spinning?!
The dirt under their fingernails
The distorted views
Who conrtols thier minds?!

I've seen things
Horrible things
Do not make judgements for me!
My mind has been shattered
Over and over
My soul has been crushed
My heart is black as death
And my eyes see only red

I've been in hell
I've been trapped in a cage
I've seen the dark side
The wrong side
And I haven't made my way back yet
I've seen the right side
The 'fucking' good side
And all the lies there within
Don't jugde me
Don't pretend you know anything
You don't know where I've been
You don't know the shit I've seen

And the blood that can spill
And the tears that fall
When will this world stop spinning?!
And the devastation
And the damnation
We all will see it in the end!

Wednesday, November 20, 2002

Lies From the Wrong Side- by: the damned

I'll just wait
Adn one day you'll walk up
Well pretend not to see
And refuse to beleive
That all this time
That the monster in the alley
Or the blood on the ground
was just a play
Performed around our world
And our inabilities were planned out
3 billion years before we were born
And every time we blink our eyes
Is under someone else's control

I control the kid down the corner
And a lady in another state
I tell a dog where to sleep
And a fat man when to eat
This secret I tell
Is one to keep
If you look hard enough
You can find someones controls
I fought for my own back
But that is rare to find
And when/ if you find someone else's
Maybe you only found it for your master
Maybe you found it for me
And the army I'm planning to build
Error-

Ay, the time has come
I'm nineteen
It has been but a few days,
And a lifetime has flashed before my eyes
Very soon worlds will collide
And bring with it pure and utter devastation
The total destruction of all existence
The earth's surface will be obliterated
Volcanic molten rock and lava
Will erupt and spew from the core
Ash in the sky will encompass the earth
Creating a greenhouse effect,
with the heating planet beneath
the constant growth of energy
and movement on the molecular level
Will cause what's left to explode
Sending particles out into the infinfity
Unless fate and/or it's trajectory
Lead upon some other inhabited planet
And destroy their entire existence
That's the day I die

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

Electric Black Death- by: the damned

Black death
Technology has contracted black death
It came from far away
But has made it's way through the wires
Damn the worldwide web
Forget the future
It will rule you
When wires enter your brain
And work their way under your fingernails
As software becomes outdated
So will we
As we contract black death
So will technology

My computer is dead....
Down- by: the damned

He got
Knocked down
Down
Far down

He couldn't reach the hand
The hand that reached down
Down
Far down

He withered away
The sun was down
Down
Too far down

No! No!
Not down!
Down
Not down

No!

I don't want to go
I don't want to go down
Not down

Could they catch him?
I need to know
No
He was too far down
Down
Far down

Catch me
I don't want to go down
Down
Far down

Monday, November 11, 2002

Oh, such harsh words
Such peircing thoughts
From where do they come
Defiant words appear
Rebelious manifestos
Will it ever make any sense
In anyone's head?
We Do Matter- by: the damned

And so things go
And alike we stumble around
Day after day

Filtering out the lgiht
Of what is reality
Converging truth and fiction
Trying to believe what is not real
And pretending what is does not exist
Holding hands together
To make the next step
To think we have a life
To think some things are important
Watch the waves
They move without us
Watch the sun and moon
They keep going despite our efforts
This next step I take
Will change the world
Not until we realize that we don't matter
that our existence is unimportant
The least of any matter
Not until then
Will we finally realize how to live
How to understand the world
Denial of self is step number one
Seeing all things happen
Is number two
Visualize the world without yourself
Then place yourself back in it
And live without
Notice for the faint of heart-profantiy prevails ahead, avoid if you please, it's your life...


It's My Fucking Life- By: the damned


Part I- It's My Death Wish-

So near the ground
Towards the corner
Yellow light

Along the pavement
Through the eyes
I'll die if I want to die

I'll fucking die if I want to
There's not a soul that can stop my demise
It will be fatal. it will be ultimate
It will be destined

I control my life
I make my own destiny
Damn the one who says otherwise
I'll die when I fucking want to

Curse the man who says I harm myself
Damn the man who says I'm going down
There's no way they'll tell me how to live

They're all going to die
We're all going to die
That is not the future
The future is what you do before that

I'll fucking die when I want to
It will be horrible
Bloody, gruesome
But I won't feel a thing
I'll be non-existent by then

So don't give me your healthy living bullshit
Don't tell me how to pass my days
I don't need some asshole telling me my ways
"Eat shit and die" I say to them

I don't fucking care
You'll die your way
And I'll die mine

I'll die when I want to
and so will you
I'll fucking die when I want to
With a knife in my back if I please

So fuck off
You self righteous pricks
I'm angry, down right peeved
Unless this IS your death wish


Part II- It's My Mouth, My Mind-

I'm using coarse language
Is that wrong too
Maybe you should try it
It works better than you think

I have no conviction
I feel no remorse
Then it must not be wrong
It's part of the language
So fuck off

Get out of your box
Your little brick house
See the real world
And all that it's about
And for god's sake

Die when YOU want to
Don't listen to some louse
Do whatever you want
Take control of your life

Part III- It's MY life-

I will be what I want
When I want
How I want

I will be the one who decides
NO one else will command me
NO one else will influence my life
I'll do what I want to
In the manner I please

Sunday, November 10, 2002

The Raven's Incantation Un-divine- By: the damned


Revealing the disposition
She awkwardly fell to the ground
Collapsed without warning
Died without making a sound

Blood trickled from her mouth
It slowly dripped from her lifeless lips
Her eyes stared forth towards nothing
But beauty still resonated from her corpse

Her golden hair shifted in the wind
Almost animate and still reaching out
Rays of moonlight crossed her face
It refracted off her now drying tears

Her hand was still warm
As I placed it in mine
Fingers so fragile and small
Skin so soft and turning cold

There was death inside her
But there was beauty still portrayed
Her body laid motionless
As wolves began to howl

A violent wind roared from the trees
And a raven crowed overhead
A black squall of clouds rolled in
An embodiment of leaves enveloped her remains

Fog summoned itself from the air
From the ground to the sky
And with a god-awful crack of thunder
It all disappeared into the ether

Her expired body was gone
I could not even sense her specter
On the ground where she did lay
Was a single drop of blood that remained

The air was silent
The night was still
My eyes filled with horror
The enchanted vision was over
And I ran home to her

Within the hour I was at the house
All the lights were out
The windows were all open
The blinds fluttered lightly about

As I walked the stairs up
My heart was charged with fear
I prayed to god for her to be resting
Sleeping silently in bed

As I drew-near the bedroom
I stopped before the door
My mind was taken up with fright
I knew what I had seen in those woods

I turned the handle slowly
My hand was sweaty and cold
It clicked ambiently
The door came ajar

A rush of icy air seeped through the crack
The room was dark and silent
My eyes could see only nothing
It seemed hours passed before they adjusted to the sight

Her sleeping body was not in the bed!
I looked frantically around
From a beam on the ceiling she hung
A noose tight around her neck!

I cried out in terror
Her dead body suspended in the room
I cried out in terror
Hugged her legs, kissed her feet

The raven! The raven!
Black feathers on the bed!
A single drop of blood on the pillow
But she had never bled!

Demons in the forest!
Her face was white as snow
Her eyes peered ghastly down
Like they were peering into mine

The raven! The raven!
Spirit of darkness and spite
Push back time, push back the wolves
That howl in the haunted trees at night

God of the skies!
Rain death no more
Scatter your darkened heavens
Let the moon shine forevermore, forevermore!

Thursday, November 07, 2002

Theres's something changing
Something in the air
I don't know what's coming
Or why
Nor if it's good or bad
But I sense it will be for the worst

This last week has all been a blur
I can't remember what i've said to anyone
All i can vaguely remember is
passing by a stranger and giving them a hard look
I ought to be nicer to people i don't know

And bad luck for the last two weeks
I only want it to break
Because it's breaking me
Maybe that's whats hovering over me
By the looks of things, it's only going to get worse

And i have nothing more...

Tuesday, November 05, 2002

Why is it that someone can want to get away from a place so bad
But in retrospect almost miss it
There are things you can hate
There are things you can love
And the new world is never good enough
A lacking of what was
An abundance of nostalgia
So change is harsh, weathering
Takes off a layer of your soul
Leaves you exposed for what you're not ready for
And I suppose nothing is ever good enough
It's heart staking...


Excerpt from Modest Mouse-

And all the people you know
They are actors

Well I'll go to college and I'll learn some big words
And I'll talk really loud
God damn right I'll be heard
And they'll remember the guy who said all those big words
He must've learned in college

And it took a long time
Till I came clean with myself
I fell clean out of love with my lover
But I still love her
Loved her more when she used to be sober and I kinder

Saturday, November 02, 2002

After awhile
You can work on points for style
Like the club tie, and the firm handshake
A certain look in the eye and an easy smile
You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to
So that when they turn their backs on you
You'll get the chance to put the knife in