Life's High- by: unknown forgotten

There are metal grated stairs
That climb high to the sky
And even the slightest glance down
Sends the mind spinning round
For through the grating
And below the heights
Is the ground from whence I just came

Trip- by: unknown forgotten

Once in a while
I lose track of time
And forget how I got here
I've seen the roads
I've been on them all
They all look the same
Stretches of concrete, blacktop
That some man layed with his own hands
Many years before I ever walked them
The only ones I can remember
Are the roads that lead to nowhere
Where that worker walked off the edge
Into the distance and uncharted lands
Where the sidewalk ends
It's just a massive maze
That takes you no place
Every destination is always the same

Somebody help me find my way back home
Somebody lead me back to the right road
Somebody who's never left home
Who's never walked on these roads
Who's never taken a wrong turn

Somebody needs to find me
But they'll have to wander out first
Leaving a trail of crumbs
Or get lost too

Perhaps I'll wander into another soul
Perusing these endless hopeless streets
Examining every crack, pebble, or groove
And following the signs
That lead back home

There are so many things
That don't mean anything to me

But I Can't See- by: unknown forgotten

The scene was beautiful
The air was still
The vision was enticing
But I can't see

You looked at me
Waiting for a response
You peered into my eyes
But I can't see

I heard the sounds of your footsteps
But you were walking away
I blindly reached out for you
You were already gone

But I can not see
When you look me in the eyes
Thus I can't know you're there
And take you by the hand

I can hear, quite well
And someone told me you had been there
You were trying to reach out to me
And it crushed my heart

I never knew you were there
You probably thought I was mean
I would have embraced you with love
But I can not see

Walk up to me
The next time I'm around
I want to look you in the eyes
But I can't see anything

But I Can't Hear- by: unknown forgotten

The sounds were beautiful
The air was still
The sounds enveloped all
But I can't hear

You called my name
You saw me standing there
You waited for me to turn
But I can't hear

I saw where you would have been standing
Though you had already left
I never turned around
You left in dispair

But I can not hear
When you call out my name
I thus have no justification
To respond and draw near

I can see, quite well
And I found the note paper on the floor
It was directed towards me
And it crushed my heart

I never knew you were there
You probably thought I was mean
I would have embraced you with love
But I can not hear

Call out my name
The next time I'm around
I want to turn to see you
But I can't hear a sound

Like A Shadow I Love You Still- by: unknown forgotten

Who are you?
Who watches my every move
Who stands where my eyes don't go
Who peers down upon my life
But you never make your precense known
I want to know you
More than I know myself

Where are you?
The one I am waiting to love
You're out there
I might have met you
But I was too late and you were gone
When shall we meet for the first time
And then be together from then on
I can give you everything I have
Though it may not be much
Just to hold you tonight
And show you my love

Recollection- by: unknown forgotten

And then my mind sank into it
The false belief that of devils fire
And rain from the depths
To devour my soul
And that it does
Ripping at my concious
Presenting my past lives
And I must relive them all
Until I get it right
The haze that envelopes my life
Does not blow with the wind
But my mind does
And it drags it along the ground
Bleeding and dirty I remain
Unable to get up
Unable to try again

At the last moment before I awoke
My dream wandered into the present
And what happened when I awoke was the future
So I was left in a time lapse
Where nothing I did mattered
Because nobody else had experienced what I'd seen
Everyone was in the past

Then, you go somewhere else. Here: The Dude's LiveJournal.

That will be the on goings and rambling.

This will remain the insanity and writings.

The unknown forgotten.

um... I have nothing to say. At least i have that.





My heart often beats so hard I can feel it throbbing inside my chest. And I can feel my blood pulsing throughout my body. It doesn't even beat fast. The doctor once told me I have a big heart.

Party tonight at my house!. That is, after i sleep, wake up again, go to school, edit video for hours on end, then PARTY! More details to come as the day passes, then the night progresses. Out of like the 80 or god knows how many people we've told, only 3 have said they can't come. Its going to be big. Im excited.

My knee hurts, but i don't know why.

ANGER
1. Who did you last get angry with?
- Kory
2. What is your weapon of choice?
- dagger
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
- Yes, woth probable cause
4. How about of the same sex?
- Yes
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
- My dad
6. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
- Let go all but one

SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?
- work
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
- 5pm
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't:
- brandon
4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
- I just don't feel good.
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)?
- Yes
6. When was the last time you got a good work-out in?
- months ago
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
- I turned it off and slept several hours

GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
- country time lemon flavored powdered drink mix
2. Meat eaters:
- Prime rib
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
- 7-8 somethings
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
- no
5. Do you have an issue with your weight?
- no
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?
- spicy
7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "LUNCH!"?:
- yes

LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?
- 4?
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?
- about the same... 4?
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?
- uhhhh.
4. Have you "done it"?
- uhhh....
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
- male: Eyes, hair
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
- No
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?
- No

GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own?
- one
2. What's your guilty pleasure store?
- any record store
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?
- Buy the castle across the street
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?
- Rich
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
- Most definently
6. Have you ever stolen anything?
- yes
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?
- 2000+

PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of?
- moved away
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?
- nothing I know of
3. What thing(s) would you like to accomplish in your life?
- get a good job, buy a house, own at least 8 good running mopeds.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
-I can't even get second....
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
-no
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
- Yes
7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
- Made an (literally) insane video.

ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
- their money
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
- fuck if i care
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
- don't know, don't care
4. Have you ever been cheated on?
- Yes
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
- not really
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
- realizm
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey?
- fuck no
8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?
- LUST

FAITH
1. What religion do you follow?
- none
2. What religion were you raised as?
- christian
3. Do you believe that forgiveness is a religious property, or a human property?
- human
4. Do you believe in magic?
- no
5. What was the last promise you broke?
- I would get a job
6. Have you ever said the words to a prayer and not meant it?
- yes
7. Do you believe that anyone could be perfect?
- No

HOPE
1. Did you get everything you wanted over the last holiday season?
- no
2. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for?
- survival
3. Do you let yourself get your hopes up for something even if you know that there is a large chance of failure?
- yes
4. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket?
- no.
5. Do you gamble?
- no
6. Have you ever had something called off on account of bad weather, but then gone ahead and done it anyway?
- yes, moped riding in the freezing rain. Good times....

CHARITY
1. What causes do you support?
- none
2. What causes have you given money or time to?
- I have nothing to give
3. Have you ever worked in a soup kitchen or done another kind of outreach for the homeless?
- yes, it sucked.
4. Would you ever consider joining the Peace Corps, Amnesty International, or another travel-inherent worldwide charity group?
- Hell no
5. Do you give money to the homeless on the street?
- When I can
6. Have you ever helped out a friend with basic needs, like rent or food?
- I need the help
7. What's the greatest extent you've gone to help a friend in need?
- yelled at him

FORTITUDE
1. What are you most afraid of?
- failure
2. What did you do today that was really brave?
- went to school
3. Who is your favorite superhero, and why?
- Deadpool, he kills lots
4. Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone?
- I don't know, maybe, probably not
5. If you were to face the Wizard, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart?
- yes
6. Have you ever gotten stage fright?
- Yes
7. Do you consider yourself to be a leader or a follower?
- A lone rebel renegade

JUSTICE
1. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty?
- no.
2. If they reinstituted the draft (for both genders), would you go, or would find some way out of it?
- I get the fuck out. Then they arrest you, send you back, fine you, and put you in jail for 10 years.
3. Do you support capital punishment (the death penalty)?
- Usually.
4. Do you believe that Dubya is rightfully President of the USA?
- I don't even care
5. What was your favorite media circus trial?
- none
6. Have you ever written a letter to a politician?
- No

TEMPERANCE
1. What do you have the hardest time moderating yourself on?
- sleep
2. Do you collect anything?
- only cds
3. Are you addicted to anything?
- kind of
4. Have you ever put anything on layaway or used an installment plan?
- yes
5. What's your preferred method of paying for things?
- cash
6. Tell us one thing you wish you hadn't let yourself do:
- that was then, this is now
7. Do you feel that you obsess over things?
- no

PRUDENCE
1. Who is the wisest person you know?
- sam
2. Have you ever participated in a vigil?
- No
3. Do you take advice when it's given?
- if it works out for me
4. What area are you wisest in?
- pacifism inactivism
5. Do you drive defensively?
- Yes, you have to on mopeds
6. Have you ever had unprotected sex outside of marriage?
- well.....
7. What did you learn today?
- That this was a big fucking waste of my time.

I do not want to sleep but I know I must. I must cope with the fact that I am an insomniac.

My short lived weekend ended aproximately 1 hour and 35 minutes ago.

And my roommate refuses to leave the chair he has been sleeping on for the last 4 hours and go to his room because he is "comfortable."

Bombardment of Lepers- by: unknown forgotten

Faster than ash
My self-being disintegrates
Faster than cars
My soul melts beyond retrieve
For this unattainable something
I once dreamed
And the correlation between
Defies the manner itself
Because I forgot what it was
That I dreamed that day
Someone told me
That everything is inevitable
So I looked only towards that
A theory that has proved itself useful
In a terrible sort of way
And my mind is going
Faster than ash
Dust and soot that flies in the wind
Torn from its immobile state
And well, I don't believe a thing
Because there is no reasoning
Such as I know what I'm saying
But anyone else won't understand a thing
It was inevitable.
Submit.

It is all the inevitable.
A power that controls what it doesn't know
It sees nothing, feels nothing
Just takes place in between
An invisible idea
That plays out life
Uncontrollable
Undistinguishable
It happens underneath
Everything is inevitable
On a long enough time scale
Inevitability will take place
And cause things that you could have never foreseen
And bring what you’ve always been waiting for.
Submit.

Death is inevitable.
The end is inevitable.
Submit.

So, a bunch of us were just sitting there, and these girls come up and give us free tickets to the new Willard movie, plus posters, rat stickers, t-shirts, and chocolate rats. That totally ruled. My geeky nintendo employed friend loves crispin glover. He was so happy.

I just went to a hippie party. Damn hippie monster communes. It was pretty fun actually. As I say, "hippies are peaceful people." I was playing the piano, then this curly fro hippie guy comes up, and starts playing. Yeah, so he's been playing for sixteen years! Then it smelled like herbs. And people were everywhere, and I don't know who even lived there. boy howdy, good times, damn good times. and its really late, 4:42am. I'm gonna sleep for a long time.

Strike Not Me Down- by: unknown forgotten


Lay back the sword!
That will soon strike my flesh
And let me once again
Conjure my way out of this mess

Before you take my life
Or draw my blood
I only ask one thing
That I tell you my story first

Since the lady’s first cry
A distant cry of help
From the dragons lair
She did yelp

I mounted my horse
Armor and sword
And rode through the night
With speed abundant
Until my horse could no more

After my exhausted steed breathed its last
I marched through forests and swamps
Haunted and thick
Many hindrances appeared
But I pushed on and prevailed

I reached the fire demons lair
On the seventh hour of the fifth night
The sun was falling o'er the hills
I could sense the danger about

I ran into the depths of the cave
But nay did I find
The beloved lady
Anywhere to be found

I searched for hours
With frantic speed
Until the last crevice unsearched
Brought me to my knees

I caught a glimpse of golden hair in my eye
And as I drew near I walked in blood
The lady had been slain
For not but minutes before
Her body was still warm

And here I am
Returning the beautiful lady
And you with your sword drawn
Ready to strike me down

Believe me, Master
For my story is true
I am only a servant for you the King
The truth is by the time I reached her
She had already been slain

These Are One More. _ by: unknown forgotten

The mouth that came out of the ground
Reached with its tongue and teeth
To pull the man down
And the furnace that powers the tongue
Was run by burning coal
Shoveled by a subterranean servant

Further down beneath the hole in the ground
Was a vat of acid
Not far away Satan sits on his thrown and laughs
As he spears his only follower
The smoke that the furnace pours
Flows into the sky
Here the lonely ones come to warm there hands

And a winged man stands and observes the mouth
And a boy stands with a gun at the wings back
Somewhere between the mouth and smoke
Stands a soul burning from head to toe

Mare Vitalis- by: unknown forgotten

From the bottom
Sand to the water
Undertow to the break
I rode out my days

From the middle
Fish and sea serpents
Seaweed to sunlight rays
I lowered my hopes

From the top
Foam to waves
Breathe to suffocation
I forever left this place

Its snowing about 10 miles away from my house.

Ahhhh. The weekend. Finally. Ive been waiting for so long.

Wow, this site has become quite dark. Kind of depressing if one didn't know any better.

Or not. I think its funny. In a very disturbing sort of way. yeah, er... damn.

It sounded of rusted metal from an old iron ship.

I am caught within the restraints of my own reality. I live only in the first-hand, at the very moment.Everything I experience is only perceivable to me and no one else. For I live in a world with no one else, thus no one can relate. How do I defy this matter? How do I break the invisible walls and expose my own to the rest of the world. To do such a thing would be an overload of information. And it would only allow for me to be there, but stuck in my own context in a strange and foreign environment. I am dying in a crowded room.

today felt only an hour long. How can it be so late already?

I need more rock and roll.










.

A Horrible Thing_ by: unknown forgotten

At some point in the dark room that dreary night, his heart was removed, torn straight from his chest, and dipped into a bucket of crude oil. In the morning he awoke with a severe pain in his chest. He peered down to see the awful mess. Black oil and blood strewn across the room. The crude stitches coming out of his chest were made of fishing line and floss. He immediately coughed up oil, and his eyes turned all black. His mind blazed with fire, and his soul was gone. He lived for not more than three days, until he dug out the black heart from within himself. With a dagger and a box cutter, he killed himself that night. And there was his corpse, sprawled out upon the floor. His chest open, merely torn flesh. For his black heart still beating, and living off the death.


That makes me feel sick...

Right, so The Locust rocked . I almost didn't make it, I was at my internship from 4:30 to 10:00, standing the whole long and damn boring time. I hauled ass going about 60 the whole way, in 35 and 40 zones. I made it from edmonds to downtown seattle in 15 minutes. I got there about 2 minutes before they played. Then Gabe the drummer gave me a bunch of free shit cause i told him i knew his brother is san deigo. That's one good thing about knowing brandon. I helped them move their gear down the vera projects damned gigantic double long flight of steap ass stairs. And then I went home. Missed moped monday, damn....

The Locust tomorrow! It should be totally radical, I haven't seen them since san diego. There better be some hot girls there damnit.

I really wish i talked to more people i don't know. I think it would be good for me.

I really hate it when I think of something really good, then forget it by the time I get to the computer. It just happened twice in the last two minutes.

And I was just out back and the oil heater made these loud dripping sounds and scared the shit out of me for a second. Like stalagmites in a deep cave dripping water into an underground lake, echoing for several moments after.

I wish i didn't hide myself so much

I wish I knew many people I've never yet met....

And then I go to sleep.

Aaagh! What a dumb fucking dog. I hate it! My roommates beagle is the worst dog ever. I swear i'm gonna kill it. Besides thousands (seriously) of other dumbass shit, it just ate half a box of my goldfish crackers! I just want to kick it in the fucking head. You would too if it was there, every day, day after day, after day, after day, every day, fucking shit up constantly!

I'd like to find the guy that did it, and rip his still beating heart right out of his chest, so he can see how black it is before he dies.

Good lord. That was a party.There was probably 80 people in that tiny house. I was up till five, then slept till three today (its out of control.) And theres another party tonight, so, fuck it, I'm going!!

I need more sleep.